What will a life without coughing be like? I can only imagine as it's the only life I've known these past 20 or so years since first getting sick. Practically every morning starts with a huge fit of coughing, the lungs clearing themselves of the mucus that has accumulated overnight. It is a violent act. A painful act. A now rib breaking act, haha. Hey, I can laugh now that I am mostly healed! At times it is scary, many times I am unable to catch my breath and feel close to passing out. What a lovely way to start the day, eh? I wake up and mentally prepare myself for the impending onslaught. The first 5-10 minutes I lay in bed, hoping this may be one of the rare mornings where I don't cough. Then I get up and start moving and feel it coming on. I try to fight it off, breathe slowly and deeply, move slowly. It keeps getting closer. After about 5 minutes I duck into the bathroom, accepting that it is time. Violent coughing, snot running from my nose, my eyes pouring fluid. I grab onto the side of the sink for support and just lay into it. Lightheadedness begins and I just try to find some oxygen between the coughs, just enough to stay upright. Around 5 minutes later it is over and I can breathe the breaths that lungs functioning at 30% give me. Following that fun it is another 20 minutes or so of just sitting and recuperating, clearing out the remaining crap that lingers in the lungs.
This is the life of someone with CF. Of someone close to transplant. The life I never really tell about because it is pretty gross, haha. But this life will be over soon. All I want for Christmas is a new set of lungs. Are you listening Santa?
Steve
